Wednesday, May 10, 2006

they built it, i came

It's happened. It's finally HAPPENED... OPEN FOR BUSINESS.

I know you all remember this:

Well, now it's this:

...RESPLENDENT in green and good ol' aussie acacia gold.

I don't mind confessing that D and I were a little overwhelmed as we took our seats. But our nerves were soon calmed by

We perused the menu (click on it for larger size, that thee may read of its virtue)...

Great value and SO VERY AUSSIE AUSIE!

What true blue -- dare I say DINGKUM -- Ausie doesn't have joyous memories of gleefully tucking into this, for example:

Or the Outback Sizzling Beef with Saffron Rice and Veggies? Or the Waltzing Matilda Sizzling Chicken with Saffron Rice and Sidedish 1/4 chix Hot & Spicy? Or Spring Rolls with Saffron Rice and Coffee?

Yes, at BIG OZ, they've faithfully -- disquietingly, even -- recreated the OZ experience to minute, painstaking detail. It's almost scary. And while D and I were flummoxed as to why we were the only diners apart from

we're confident it's only a matter of time before the place starts bursting at the seams with cork-hatted men and women in Drizabones and RM Williams boots.

I'm honoured to be able to show you the dingkum dishes D and I chose. D had Oz Lamb with Gravy + Drink:

I was hungry, so went all out and ordered two dishes -- Sauteed Pork and Ginger Cabbage (to remind me of counter meals in outback pubs):

and Ausie Double Burger with French Fries + Coke TLC, Tomato, Lettuce and Cheese. This is the "coke" I was given:

And the burger:

"That burger looks like it's in a bowl!" I hear you say. Well, what would you expect, you dunderhead? Obviously, you've never eaten AUSIE burgers.

So there you have it. The BIG OZ. THE Big Oz. I need never come home. Why would I? This is more Oz then Oz. I admit I was a little disappointed that (unlike at the Outback Steakhouse in Manila) the waiters weren't dressed in Steve Irwin croc hunter garb. And that they didn't greet me with a lackadaisacal "G'day!" upon entering. And the toilet doors weren't adorned with endearing "Blokes" and "Sheilas" signs. But, really, that's just nitpicking. Just ask

  1. The food actually sort of sucked. None of the staff gave any indication they'd ever woorked in a restaurant before. For example, the woman at the counter, who seemed to do little other than pretend to add things up on a calculator, had to call the "chef" because she didn't know how to open the microwave door. That they reheated dishes in a microwave in full view of the diners probably wasn't a good sign, either.
  2. I do feel a bit tawdry writing such a sarcastic ironic entry -- it was a soft target, I know, but HOW COULD I RESIST?
  3. I also feel a little sad seeing that there's obviously been quite a lot of work put into preparing the place, and I can't see it lasting more than 6 months (which is a pretty common lifespan for small businesses here). But I am ready and willing to EAT MY WORDS (if not most of what's on the menu).
Finally -- one last time for good measure because it rocks SO hard: WHO loves ya, baby?



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yunno - if it's got 'Outback' or 'Dingkum' in front of the name - it HAS to be Ausie!
I'm excited to see their dying business promotion, when they pull out the 'Garyroo and friends' character costumes on the footpath with freebie taste-testers to get the punters thru the door. As you say, no need to return to Oz when such tucker is on offer.

7:45 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dammit thats funny. And here was me thinking spaghetti was Italian.

SW is on obvious choice for footpath spruiking too.


8:58 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wish we had one of these in melbourne then I could actually eat real ausie food rather than the real chinese, vietnamese, italian etc we get here.

9:09 am  
Blogger secret wombat said...

Outback Steakhouse is scary - you can't move without bumping into a glaring Aussie cliche.

I think I'll endure the food at Big Oz at least once a week and leave excessive tips, just help them stay open. Big Oz is GOLD and it's closure would be tragic. Everyone deserves a chance to dine there.

10:29 am  
Blogger ms fits said...

I feel significantly more Ausie after reading that post.

Now, off to eat some of Mama's You-Beaut spag bol.

1:30 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I laughed so hard I nearly punctured a lung. Top work Wombat!


2:33 pm  

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