guts

SW is wading through the molasses lake of the hundreds of putrid emails that accumulated while away in Melbourne (science journo conference), Tilba (L-N wedding), and Vietnam and Laos (work trip, looking at rice farms (who wouldn't?).

Several unrelated thoughts:

1) I've decided the only form of communication I actually like is face-to-face conversation. All others stress me out (phone, txt, email, chat...).

2) I had some wonderful food in Vietnam and Laos. I was also presented with several things that I took pains to avoid. Most meals (especially in Vietnam) were organised by our local hosts. Some were delicious, but true provincial cuisine tends to include quite a few dishes that contain blood/guts/giblets/intestines/offal/innards etc etc. I confess to having delicate sensibilities with regard to such offerings. Much of it's psychological, I'm sure. Much of it's also texture-related. My problem with many of these foods is the texture not the taste. I also struggle with the strong fishy/shrimpy taste in some Asian foods. Yet I love anchovies. Life's rich tapestry etc.

3) The Philippines had its mid-term elections on Monday. Almost all elected positions from local to national government were being contested, except for president and vice president. I'll take the liberty of simply pasting in Lone Gopher's summary here:

Just a short report from the midterm elections here in the Philippines that took place today. I was watching one of the local news channels to get some info on who won. Well, the results are not finished yet, but what I did find out was that a chief of police reported that he thought that they had been able to show the international observers that the elections where relatively peaceful. So far 191 poll related acts of violence resulting in 114 deaths of whom 11 were candidates.

There's also an interesting BBC piece on some of the political quirks of the Philippines.

4) I can't believe the land that some people are forced to farm to eke out a subsistence living. I'd avoid simply walking up these hills once -- the idea of farming them all year round boggles my mind. Here's an example:


The land on these slopes has been cleared for farming. There's a crop (maize I think) planted in the area to the right. (Not the green patch in the upper right area -- the plants there are weeds. The crop is in the lower right, much more sparsely spaced.) The yields are predictably terrible on land like this. As I sit here in an air-conditioned orifice, it makes me think twice about whinging about my job. BUT IT WON'T STOP ME, DAMN IT.

a familiar theme / broken record / deal with it / etc.

Rigid office hours really don't suit me. I can say that because, like most days, I'm here in the orifice past 7PM, despite not being insanely busy just now. Most days, I arrive around 8.45AM. I try to make it by 8.30AM (but usually fail), my revised official start time. Work's official office hours are 8AM-5PM with an hour for lunch (no cushy 7hrs 21min bludge-offs here in the Philippines, people). Because I was always at least 30min late anyway, my boss graciously offered me official hours of 8.30-5.30.

Often, my long hours are a result of crap time management at work: a lot of procrastination followed by self-flagellation around mid-afternoon, then some genuine work for a few hours; before I know it, it's after 7PM and I'm pissed off. I have periods when I'm genuinely very busy (often as a result of too much procrastination when a deadline wasn't looming) and I need to put in longer hours. That's fine, I can deal with that. What shits me to tears is when I spend long hours but I'm not nearly busy enough to justify them.

Part of the reason for my poor time management (apart from my ill-disciplined, weltschmerz-fuelled professional existence) is that, being a "writer/editor", I'm supposed to write and edit. It seems that, often, I'm only capable of doing that in fits and spurts. (I'm sure I'm not alone here.) So being confined to a rigid 8-hour work structure just doesn't work.

I can counter this to some extent by working from home occasionally. Without the typical procrastination tools (I have no internet connection at home; you extrapolate), and without the distractions of the office, I'm a hell of a lot better at just doing it, if I can use that phrase without Nike suing me.

What I'd really love, though, is a job where I'm judged purely on productivity, not on appearing to be productive by being plonked in an office in front of a computer 8+ hours a day. Output not input. Such work structures do of course exist -- I've heard that Google programmers have no set hours, and are regarded only by what they produce.

There are realities one can't scape: meetings, management responsibilities etc. And there can be many positives about being among co-workers (not necessarily for 40 hours a week, mind you). But, on the whole, if I could work whenever I wanted -- within certain limits, I'll grant -- I think I'd be happier and more productive (I acknowledge there may be unseen pitfalls). Better for me, better for my employer; everyone kicks a goal etc etc. I imagine I'd still be in the office 20 of my 40 hours each week -- I'd simply be more effective and motivated when I was there.

It won't happen of course. I can't think of any good reasons why not. I can think of plenty of reasons that would be offered, but none that I couldn't refute convincingly.

Long and hard...

Arrived in Manila on Monday evening after 3 frenetic but enjoyable weeks in Oz. As usual, I tried to do too many things, which created the usual tensions with family and D, and a tingling sense of guilt due to feeling like I shortchanged a few friends by a few hours (or days) here and there. I have vowed (as usual) that next time I will plan far less and reserve much more chill-out time. This remains to be seen, but I sense I'm nearing some sort of straw-breaking-camel's-back threshold that will result in me actually doing what I intend.

My first couple of days back in the orifice were horrendous -- I really didn't want to be here. In many ways I still don't, but this afternoon I find myself in an unexpected, inexplicable, and irrational good mood. I'll try to just roll with it.

In short, I think I've hit a writing/editing wall. I'm sick to death of sitting at a desk in front of computer, fiddling about with bits of writing and editing that relate to other people's work -- some of which is interesting, to be fair, but much of which is not.

Maybe it's just the come-down after a holiday. I hope so. Otherwise, 2006 is shaping up to be long and hard...