Charmingly life English DVD #5

North American Chain-22 Action Movies!
(I LOVE North American Chain-22 Action Movies!)

Charmingly life English DVD #4

Earthquake Magma Volcanic Disaster!
(Just in case you weren't sure what the theme was.)

Charmingly life English DVD #3

Man of painful heaven!

Charmingly life English DVD #2

Make track for the shot mutation ages!

The pirated DVD guide to English

Lucky YOU! SW, with the help of the lovely D, is bringing you a NEW SERIES. On this very blog, over the next few weeks, we present to you covers of pirated DVDs* seen around the Philippines. Use them to improve your English!

*SW in no way endorses or purchases pirated DVDs!

Charmingly life English DVD #1

Denseness Love Classic Series 12 in 1!

Sylvia Plath, comic genius

The second exciting installment in secret wombat’s “Back of the DVD cover” series!! Click here for the first Krazy-with-a-Kapital-K effort.

There is, in my apartment, a DVD containing the film Sylvia, starring Gwyneth Paltrow and Daniel Craig, and which I’ve yet to watch. DVDs seem to appear out of nowhere here; I’m sure I never actually bought this one myself. I’m also sure that it’s a 100% BONA FIDE, LEGITIMATE, NON-PIRATED COPY. Here is the blurb on the back of the cover:

And here (at the bottom of the image) is the quote taken from a review of the film (at least I assume it’s from a review due to the quotation marks – no source is cited):

Of course! From the blurb, it certainly sounds like a riot. Brilliant but troubled woman attempts suicide. Survives. Finds love. Loses love. Commits suicide. ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY HILARIOUS!!!

Like I said, I haven’t seen it yet. Maybe it is hilarious. Or maybe somebody scanned the Caddyshack review onto the Sylvia cover. Hard to believe that would happen on a 100% BONA FIDE, LEGITIMATE, NON-PIRATED COPY, though. Whatever, I’ll watch it when I’m feeling down and need some slapstick light relief to perk me up.

I, Caligula

I thought it would be EXTREMELY amusing if I posted the blurb on the back of the Caligula DVD cover, but changed “Caligula” to “I/me”; “his” to “my”; and “movie” to “person”. I also omitted 4 words for the sake of continuity.

I may very well be the most controversial person in history. Only one person dares to show the perversion behind imperial Rome, and that person is ME, Rome’s mad emperor. All the details of my cruel, bizarre reign are revealed right here: my unholy sexual passion for my sister, my marriage to Rome’s most infamous prostitute, my fiendishly inventive means of disposing those who would oppose me, and more.

Not for the squeamish, not for the prudish, I will shock and arouse you as I reveal the deviance and decadence beneath the surface of the grandeur that once was Rome.

I think those of you who know me will find this spookily accurate. (Especially the bit about me shocking and arousing you – I’ve been doing that for years!)

We could chat for hours about why this is so unbelievably hilarious but, in the end, that would only serve to diminish the comedic heights to which I have climbed.