Wednesday, February 22, 2006

I, Caligula

I thought it would be EXTREMELY amusing if I posted the blurb on the back of the Caligula DVD cover, but changed “Caligula” to “I/me”; “his” to “my”; and “movie” to “person”. I also omitted 4 words for the sake of continuity.

I may very well be the most controversial person in history. Only one person dares to show the perversion behind imperial Rome, and that person is ME, Rome’s mad emperor. All the details of my cruel, bizarre reign are revealed right here: my unholy sexual passion for my sister, my marriage to Rome’s most infamous prostitute, my fiendishly inventive means of disposing those who would oppose me, and more.

Not for the squeamish, not for the prudish, I will shock and arouse you as I reveal the deviance and decadence beneath the surface of the grandeur that once was Rome.

I think those of you who know me will find this spookily accurate. (Especially the bit about me shocking and arousing you – I’ve been doing that for years!)

We could chat for hours about why this is so unbelievably hilarious but, in the end, that would only serve to diminish the comedic heights to which I have climbed.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haha! That is unexpectedly hilarious. Substitute 'Rome' with 'Myrona Avenue' for even better results.

I love back-of-video-box hyperbole. I recall one for an 1970s vampire film, the kind of lame gothy-titillation with arty pretensions that the French and Italians made quite a bit of back then. I think it was 'Daughters of Darkness', and the blurb chose to scream out one word in particular, viz: "Surreal, chilling tale about two LESBIAN vampires who... (etc etc)"

9:53 am  
Blogger secret wombat said...

Damn! You're right - I SHOULD have used "Myrona Ave" instead of "Rome". It feels like cheating to change it now though.

Nice digby mcfunt link, too.

1:31 pm  

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