crash

Bugger...again.

I have lost the ability to drive without crashing into things.

My first effort was in October 2004, driving my then boss’s car. I somehow believed that his was the only car in the carpark. I was correct, apart from the brand new Honda I backed into. That led to joyous fun and games as the Honda owner tried to extort me for a few hundred dollars (despite all their repairs being covered by insurance). Somehow, the saga seems to have mysteriously ended without my paying anything. Yet.

Since I started in my current position (and hence gained the right to rent a car for a nominal monthly fee), I have had no fewer than 5 accidents. Thankfully, none have resulted in physical injury (unless you count a dented tree). The below table summarizes these (apologies for the demented formatting).

Accident	Damage to my car	Damage to other vehicle/object	Action/result
Backed into work truck in work carpark	Minimal damage to bumper	None (that I could see – though I didn’t check all that carefully)	Did not report
Drove up arse of another work car, driven by a senior employee, after noticing too late that traffic had banked up due to a funeral procession (see here)	Damage to front bumper and bonnet	Damage to rear bumper and boot	Reported to Motor Repair, given replacement car while my car repaired Significant embarrassment
Swung around too early while backing out of work carport and consequently hit a concrete support pillar	Damage to front right bumper and lights	Didn’t check the concrete support pillar very closely, but the carport hasn’t fallen down yet	Reported to Motor Repair, given replacement car while my car repaired Significant embarrassment
Within 24 hours of collecting car after above repairs, scraped a jeepney while turning out of my street onto another street (jeepney was standing in my path and I had to turn sharply to abvoid oncoming traffic)	Scratch/scrape along side at right rear of car	Probably none, but didn’t stop to check	gestured angrily at jeepney driver Did not report
Backed into tree in middle of carpark in town	Damage to rear bumper; minor damage to boot	Probably a dent in the tree, but I drove away in a cloud of self-flagellation without checking	Anger / self-flagellation manifested in repeated throwing (and consequent bending) of keys at concrete wall Reported to Motor Repair (no need for replacement as I went home to Oz for Christmas holidays) Brought pasalubong (gifts after a holiday) of Emu mettwurst back from Oz for motor repair staff (in anticipation of future prangs – I know where my bread is buttered)