Wednesday, January 18, 2006



I have lost the ability to drive without crashing into things.

My first effort was in October 2004, driving my then boss’s car. I somehow believed that his was the only car in the carpark. I was correct, apart from the brand new Honda I backed into. That led to joyous fun and games as the Honda owner tried to extort me for a few hundred dollars (despite all their repairs being covered by insurance). Somehow, the saga seems to have mysteriously ended without my paying anything. Yet.

Since I started in my current position (and hence gained the right to rent a car for a nominal monthly fee), I have had no fewer than 5 accidents. Thankfully, none have resulted in physical injury (unless you count a dented tree). The below table summarizes these (apologies for the demented formatting).


Damage to my car

Damage to other vehicle/object


Backed into work truck in work carpark

Minimal damage to bumper

None (that I could see – though I didn’t check all that carefully)

  1. Did not report

Drove up arse of another work car, driven by a senior employee, after noticing too late that traffic had banked up due to a funeral procession (see here)

Damage to front bumper and bonnet

Damage to rear bumper and boot

  1. Reported to Motor Repair, given replacement car while my car repaired
  2. Significant embarrassment

Swung around too early while backing out of work carport and consequently hit a concrete support pillar

Damage to front right bumper and lights

Didn’t check the concrete support pillar very closely, but the carport hasn’t fallen down yet

  1. Reported to Motor Repair, given replacement car while my car repaired
  2. Significant embarrassment

Within 24 hours of collecting car after above repairs, scraped a jeepney while turning out of my street onto another street (jeepney was standing in my path and I had to turn sharply to abvoid oncoming traffic)

Scratch/scrape along side at right rear of car

Probably none, but didn’t stop to check

  1. gestured angrily at jeepney driver
  2. Did not report

Backed into tree in middle of carpark in town

Damage to rear bumper; minor damage to boot

Probably a dent in the tree, but I drove away in a cloud of self-flagellation without checking

  1. Anger / self-flagellation manifested in repeated throwing (and consequent bending) of keys at concrete wall
  2. Reported to Motor Repair (no need for replacement as I went home to Oz for Christmas holidays)
  3. Brought pasalubong (gifts after a holiday) of Emu mettwurst back from Oz for motor repair staff (in anticipation of future prangs – I know where my bread is buttered)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anger, self flagellation and throwing of keys. More of this please. You have an audience to please now. Oh, and happy Anniversary.


11:01 am  
Blogger secret wombat said...

woohoo! A non-spam comment!

11:08 am  

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