phoenix rising

Well, you see, there’s some bad news and there’s some good news. I’ll break the bad news first. It seems that THE BIG OZ is no more. Hard to believe, huh? I, for one, cannot fathom how they failed to ride the Dingkum-Sizzling-Spaghetti-w/-toasted-bread express train to global franchise glory.

A tragedy? Ordinarily, yes. BUT THIS IS NO ORDINARY TOWN, FOLKS. You are about to find out why, in the face of this catastrophe, I sound so chipper. It is simply this:

Not catching my drift? Not comprehending why the people in the photo are so excited? Let’s zero in on that yellow sign in the centre...

Oh, YES. Theophilus Japanese food is HERE. What the fuck is it? I have abso-fucking-lutely NO idea. But I intend to find out, people. I intend to find out…