Hardly working

Goodness, goodness me. Another day where I’ve reached lunch and done absolutely bugger-all work. Not that I haven’t done this in the past, but in the last few weeks it’s been the rule, not the exception. I always seem to meet deadlines – I do what I’m asked to do – but the amount of time I’ve spent fart-arsing around over the past few years is staggering. Imagine all the wonderful, productive, character-enriching activities I could have studied in the years of work-hours I’ve wasted (and that’s over only about 6 years of ‘career’). I could have mastered languages, learned to paint or play the guitar, saved starving kiddies, written novels, advanced entire fields of research…

So yet another job adds evidence to my theory that once you get into middle-class professional employment (getting in is much easier with the appropriate pieces of paper), the only things required for a financially comfortable (if not obscenely wealthy), relatively successful (if not stellar) career are:

1. a pleasant, polite demeanour
2. punctuality (relative, not absolute)
3. a presentable appearance.

Yes – if you are relatively pleasant, reasonably punctual and somewhat presentable (in short, if you are sanitised), you’ll make it to middle management, have a good material quality of life and be regarded by peers as competent and successful. In fact, in every job I’ve held, I’ve been regarded as a very good employee with an excellent work ethic. It sounds conceited, but I swear it’s true – and I also swear that, over my ‘career’, I’ve probably averaged 2-3 hours of work per 8-hour day. Now, either the world is full of people experiencing the same phenomenon – which is bloody good evidence for the Career Theory of Sanitisation – or I'm some sort of genius. And I promise you I'm not a genius.

I don’t know if this holds up in private industry, having spent only a few months there. But it works a treat in the public sector. I’d hope there’s a level of seniority above which people need genuine diligence and a bit of talent. Until I get there, I remain unconvinced.