Tuesday, April 26, 2005

I hate to bring this up, but...

In 1993, on the night of SMc’s 21st birthday dinner (July?), I set out to get as drunk as I possibly could. I was in love with K and I was convinced she was into someone else. The night culminated in me vomiting unceremoniously all over K as she tried to steady me in her apartment hallway. She subsequently showered me – the first time I was ever naked in her presence, and the only thing I recall thinking was that I should suck in my stomach. K and I did, incidentally, get together for a while – though not immediately after the vomiting. It isn’t a courting strategy I’m quick to recommend.

I bring this up (pun intended) because it was, until last weekend, the last time I had thrown up because of drink (or any other reason, for that matter). My almost-12-year streak ended at about 2am Sunday morning, amongst the flowers of the hosts' garden. I had no idea I still had it in me (until, suddenly, at around 2am, I didn’t).

I didn’t think I’d drunk that much. I mixed drinks, which probably didn’t help. Nor did the half-tumblers of Drambuie that somebody kept bringing me towards the end. But I really didn’t think I was close to spewing. Generally, I have a reasonably high alcohol tolerance (I’m quite a big guy, at 6'5" and close to 100kg). Maybe it was because I haven’t been drinking much at all of late. Whatever, I was suitably sheepish and, following the incident, I have a feeling I might have blathered on incessantly about how 1993 had been the last time it happened.

Prior to that, of course, I’d been dancing around like an idiot in my Betty Rubble costume (see Shine yer shoes, guv?). I also attempted to sing “never been to me” when I collected a costume award and did sing “you shook me all night long” – but was actually asked up to the mic by the band for that one. For some unfathomable reason I know the lyrics to the song. J’s band gets me to sing it for them whenever they play and I happen to be around.

(Un)fortunately, only one member of the job selection committee was present to witness this, and that was only B, the somewhat freakish scientific editor, who probably doesn’t have much sway (he set an ‘editing’ test that required candidates to technically proof a scientific paper – neither part of the job description nor anything that the successful candidate will be required to do). Here’s to professionalism. I feel sorry for the other candidates who would’ve had no idea that the test was a balls-up.


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